Why we all need a thing (but not all the things.)

I feel like I should tell you about my table.

It came to me like this:

I made a space for it.

IMG_0754

It was last Monday actually, and I was feeling very “life-is-so-out-of-our-control.”

{I’ve been working on that lately — rolling with it.}

I will let things I be out control, I say to myself, while purging my closet, because I am not good at this yet.

I am trying.

But at the same time that I’ve been trying, I came across this book, which really is life-changing, as long as you count how my dresser drawers look with all my clothes folded into cubes as life-changing.

(I haven’t read the whole thing yet.)

In it, she talks about stuff, and we all know this already, right? That stuff controls us and such?

I think it probably does. Less stuff definitely helps me feel calmer.

I am a big fan of clear, empty spaces.

I love for things to “have a home.”

I believe that a cluttered desk does indeed lead to a cluttered mind; that a cluttered garage leads to a cluttered liver.

Or something.

And so, I’ve been purging. Not just because it’s spring, but probably in part because it’s spring.

I started with my bedroom, and cleared out an alarming amount of stuff: 4 Goodwill boxes; 3 bags of recycling and 2 bags of trash.

I’m sorry. I love our planet, but nobody wants my holey socks. And I will not force my children to make puppets out of them.

I just won’t.

So I boxed the books, and tried to find breathing room in a place that is supposed to bring calm and respite, or at least Netflix and sleep.

And as I decluttered, my wont for an actual beside table came back.

And so I acknowledged that feeling, and continued dragging junk down the stairs and out to the car.

And when, just a few days later, my aunt told me that my grandma had a small table she was getting rid of and would I want it? I knew. I knew it was going to be perfect.

IMG_0755

And it is. It fits in the smallish spot between my bed and my husband’s dresser. It is just right for a few books (not all the books, Kara) and a cup of tea.

And it makes me feel good, and it reminds me how much we all need a thing.

(Not all the things, but a thing.)

We need things that help us feel good, and we need to do the things that help us feel good.

Those should be priorities, just as much as taking care of our families and paying bills.

Really. We have only one time to do this, and you know — we should get to enjoy it.

And so I sat down this weekend and made a little list of the things that are making me genuinely happy right now:

Little things.

And a table.

And decluttering, I guess, although I will not start talking to my shoes or caressing my books.

I just won’t.

~::~

My friend told me once that we all need a thing. We need a go-to thing that we know will bring us joy.

Because life has bumpy spots.

It doesn’t have to be something expensive or fancy.

It can be a cozy blanket; or a favorite mug — a pastry from the coffee shop, or a song.

It can be a table, I think.

The perfect kind of chocolate …

A television show that makes you laugh …

But I hope you know your thing.

I didn’t for a while.

But I’m glad I’m clearing the way to discover it.

Hey mama — Have you gotten your free printable yet? It’s perfect for those days when you feel overwhelmed and can’t remember how to crawl out of the black hole. You should grab it, because I made it just for you!
This post may contain affiliate links. When you purchase something through an affiliate link, I get a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you!!

What I need you to know right now, weary homeschool mom

Maybe you think you are the only one.

The only one who doubts herself, and frantic-Googles at midnight:

  • “new curriculum ideas”
  • “ways to get more organized”
  • “kid who hates math”
  • “how to register your kids for school”

But you’re not. I promise you. You’re not.

wearymom

You are not alone.

In fact, you aren’t even in the minority.

Every homeschooling mom out there has days and weeks and months when it feels hopeless.

You aren’t doing it wrong.

Unless you are a robot, it’s going to feel like it’s all crashing down sometimes.

But I promise …

It’s going to be OK.

It’s just that you have taken on so much.

So much more.

I know. Not everyone gets it. But I do.

But the thing is,

You’ve got this. Because you know how important it is.

That’s what you have to remember.

You wouldn’t be so worried if you didn’t care so much.

So …

You’re already the most qualified person in the world for this job.

But that doesn’t make it easy all the time.

It makes it a heck of a lot scarier.

I don’t know any one of us who hasn’t fantasized about a one-day-a-week school, where our kids could go, so that we could sit at home and binge-watch Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.

Just to get our feet under us again.

Just to remember what it feels like to not be so overwhelmed.

Maybe you need a little break? It’s OK, you know.

I didn’t think it was for a long time.

I thought it was my job to power through. To push.

But I was wrong. That’s kind of the worst thing you can do, actually.

So what should you do instead?

Stop talking to yourself like a jerk.

If any one of your friends came to you feeling the way you do right now, you would have so much compassion for her.

You know you would.

You would tell her she is a great mom. You would tell her that

A bad, day, week or month means nothing in the grand scheme of things.

And then you would tell her:

What you do is amazing.

Take it easy on yourself.

Your kids are going to be fine.

You would say it again, to make sure she heard you:

Your kids are going to be fine.

takingcaretea

And then you might say,

“But I’m worried about YOU.”

You might ask her:

Are you taking care of yourself?

Are you running too hard? Are you sleeping enough? When was the last time you did something for yourself?

  • A latte
  • A silly magazine
  • A $3 lip balm
  • A nap
  • A hot bath
  • A movie night
  • A cozy blanket curled around you as you read a novel by Rainbow Rowell, while sipping a cup of tea
    Or.
  • Or a night out dancing with your best friend from before you had kids — the one who always eventually talks you into doing a karaoke duet of a Billy Idol song

It doesn’t matter what it is.

What matters is that you know:

It’s not selfish to take care of you.

Actually,

Your kids need you to take care of you.

And

Your kids need you to stop freaking out.

I mean, a little worry is OK, because we’ve already determined that you are not a robot. But this kind of can’t-sleep-can’t-focus-SCARED kind of freaking out?

That isn’t going to help your kid learn math, mama.

It’s not going to help your child learn to read.

Worry does not make kids learn faster or better.

Worry just makes you miserable, while your child learns at his or her own pace.

Because that part isn’t up to you.

Sorry.

But the good news is, that means that part isn’t your responsibility.

You can let that one go.

You can give your kids good materials, and your time and support and love. That’s it.

You can’t force a child to learn. And if you try, you’re going to go a little crazy.

And it’s OK.

We’ve all been there.

We’ve all had our cukoo-nut moments.

So let’s do this:

Take a deep breath.

And let’s:

Let go of the fear. For just a minute.

How about you:

Look at your beautiful, smart, funny kids.

And how about you remember when they were tiny babies, and they  couldn’t do ANYTHING.

(Seriously. I mean, babies are wonderful, but they are HELPLESS.)

You helped your baby learn to sit up and crawl and stand and walk and hold a spoon and clap and pick up a Cheerio.

You helped your baby learn to say “a-na-na,” and sing “Tinkle, Tinkle Little Saaar.”

(And it wasn’t perfect then, but whatever.) 

Perfect it not the point. The point it:

Your baby is still learning every day.

Frankly, you can’t stop it.

I’m going to say that again, because it’s so important.

You can’t stop your kids from learning.

So just for today, I want you to shift your thinking, OK?

pushreeds

Your job is not to push your child to learn. Your job is to be a strong, healthy mom, who supports your child in their learning.

It sounds simple, but you can’t do that if you keep freaking out.

So take a minute to take care of you.

Maybe you need help, and that’s OK too.

We all need help sometimes.

Even the ladies on the Internet.

(We don’t have it all together, you know. I haven’t been able to find my keys since 2003.)

But we are all in this together.

You and me. And all the other moms too.

So this is what I need you to remember, OK? This is the thing I want you to say to yourself before bed at night, and first thing in the morning, and whenever you get that scary feeling in your tummy:

I love my kids more than anything in the world, and that’s why I get scared sometimes. But that’s also why they’re going to be OK.

beokleaves

Sending love to you, mama.

Kara

I know we all feel this way sometimes, so I created a free pdf that you can print out and hold on to. You know — just in case. You can find it right here: What I need you to know right now.

What I need you to know right now, weary homeschooling mom

Maybe you think you are the only one.

The only one who doubts herself, and frantic-Googles at midnight:

  • “new curriculum ideas”
  • “ways to get more organized”
  • “kid who hates math”
  • “how to register your kids for school”

But you’re not. I promise you. You’re not.

wearymom

You are not alone.

In fact, you aren’t even in the minority.

Every homeschooling mom out there has days and weeks and months when it feels hopeless.

You aren’t doing it wrong.

Unless you are a robot, it’s going to feel like it’s all crashing down sometimes.

But I promise …

It’s going to be OK.

It’s just that you have taken on so much.

So much more.

I know. Not everyone gets it. But I do.

But the thing is,

You’ve got this. Because you know how important it is.

That’s what you have to remember.

You wouldn’t be so worried if you didn’t care so much.

So …

You’re already the most qualified person in the world for this job.

But that doesn’t make it easy all the time.

It makes it a heck of a lot scarier.

I don’t know any one of us who hasn’t fantasized about a one-day-a-week school, where our kids could go, so that we could sit at home and binge-watch Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.

Just to get our feet under us again.

Just to remember what it feels like to not be so overwhelmed.

Maybe you need a little break? It’s OK, you know.

I didn’t think it was for a long time.

I thought it was my job to power through. To push.

But I was wrong. That’s kind of the worst thing you can do, actually.

So what should you do instead?

Stop talking to yourself like a jerk.

If any one of your friends came to you feeling the way you do right now, you would have so much compassion for her.

You know you would.

You would tell her she is a great mom. You would tell her that

A bad, day, week or month means nothing in the grand scheme of things.

And then you would tell her:

What you do is amazing.

Take it easy on yourself.

Your kids are going to be fine.

You would say it again, to make sure she heard you:

Your kids are going to be fine.

takingcaretea

And then you might say,

“But I’m worried about YOU.”

You might ask her:

Are you taking care of yourself?

Are you running too hard? Are you sleeping enough? When was the last time you did something for yourself?

  • A latte
  • A silly magazine
  • A $3 lip balm
  • A nap
  • A hot bath
  • A movie night
  • A cozy blanket curled around you as you read a novel by Rainbow Rowell, while sipping a cup of tea
    Or.
  • Or a night out dancing with your best friend from before you had kids — the one who always eventually talks you into doing a karaoke duet of a Billy Idol song

It doesn’t matter what it is.

What matters is that you know:

It’s not selfish to take care of you.

Actually,

Your kids need you to take care of you.

And

Your kids need you to stop freaking out.

I mean, a little worry is OK, because we’ve already determined that you are not a robot. But this kind of can’t-sleep-can’t-focus-SCARED kind of freaking out?

That isn’t going to help your kid learn math, mama.

It’s not going to help your child learn to read.

Worry does not make kids learn faster or better.

Worry just makes you miserable, while your child learns at his or her own pace.

Because that part isn’t up to you.

Sorry.

But the good news is, that means that part isn’t your responsibility.

You can let that one go.

You can give your kids good materials, and your time and support and love. That’s it.

You can’t force a child to learn. And if you try, you’re going to go a little crazy.

And it’s OK.

We’ve all been there.

We’ve all had our cukoo-nut moments.

So let’s do this:

Take a deep breath.

And let’s:

Let go of the fear. For just a minute.

How about you:

Look at your beautiful, smart, funny kids.

And how about you remember when they were tiny babies, and they  couldn’t do ANYTHING.

(Seriously. I mean, babies are wonderful, but they are HELPLESS.)

You helped your baby learn to sit up and crawl and stand and walk and hold a spoon and clap and pick up a Cheerio.

You helped your baby learn to say “a-na-na,” and sing “Tinkle, Tinkle Little Saaar.”

(And it wasn’t perfect then, but whatever.) 

Perfect it not the point. The point it:

Your baby is still learning every day.

Frankly, you can’t stop it.

I’m going to say that again, because it’s so important.

You can’t stop your kids from learning.

So just for today, I want you to shift your thinking, OK?

pushreeds

Your job is not to push your child to learn. Your job is to be a strong, healthy mom, who supports your child in their learning.

It sounds simple, but you can’t do that if you keep freaking out.

So take a minute to take care of you.

Maybe you need help, and that’s OK too.

We all need help sometimes.

Even the ladies on the Internet.

(We don’t have it all together, you know. I haven’t been able to find my keys since 2003.)

But we are all in this together.

You and me. And all the other moms too.

So this is what I need you to remember, OK? This is the thing I want you to say to yourself before bed at night, and first thing in the morning, and whenever you get that scary feeling in your tummy:

I love my kids more than anything in the world, and that’s why I get scared sometimes. But that’s also why they’re going to be OK.

beokleaves

Sending love to you, mama.

Kara

I know we all feel this way sometimes, so I created a free pdf that you can print out and hold on to. You know — just in case. You can find it right here: What I need you to know right now.